New Year,,,,,

Most of the time it is exciting to see what the new year has in store for not just myself but for everybody. After spending a lot of time with certain people over the last couple of years, that time has been cut back drastically. There are so many words and thoughts that go through my head but nothing is more frustrating than all the songs that follow. After all is said and done, the lesson that I get out of this is to be patient. I might seem like I have it together most of the time but there are times that I just really don't. For the last three years, I have been not only trying to live a different life but one that is better than I did in the past. The only part that I really want from my past are the true friends, family, and amazing memories that were made. I want to get rid of the anger and doubt. Too often we become frustrated in the things that we cannot control and want to take what is not ours to take in our own hands and speed up the process so that we get the results that we want. Because of this, the doubt sets in saying that we are not good enough for what we are doing and to just walk away. In some ways, 2012 has just carried over into 2013 but I know that this is not the case. There are things that are already changing and they are for the better. There is a saying of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well this journey over the last few years has really made me stronger. This year isn't about living for me. The last three have not been. Even though I have been recreating the person that I want to be, it is not mine to live.